#VideoGameAthlete

Posted on March 10, 2012

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After watching Rajon Rondo’s incredible performance on Sunday against the New York Knicks with 18 points, 20 assists and 17 REBOUNDS. I had to put him in the conversation of being a #VideoGameAthlete. Throughout the year, I have been tweeting about LeBron James and Dwyane Wade being the ultimate #VideoGameAthlete combo on a team so I just wanted to expand the list and create a new trend…hopefully :).

First, lets define VideoGameAthlete (VGA): A VGA is an individual that brings the WOW factor to his game along with a certain trait that makes him the envy of other players and a measuring stick for everyone. Somebody such as J.R. Smith, DeAndre Jordan or Nate Robinson can bring the WOW factor but they just don’t posses that certain trait that Superstars possess.

I want my VGA’s to have little to no weaknesses. These VGA’s are bonafide Superstars BUT being a Superstar alone is not enough to be a VGA, so someone like Dirk Nowitzki, Chris Paul and Carmelo Anthony, won’t qualify.

Space Jam aliens

Monstars 2.0???

The VGA gene is embedded in your DNA at birth. There is no workout or diet that non-VGA’s can do to get to that level, EVER. You can spot a VGA without even knowing a single thing about him. They just catch your eye immediately and you gravitate towards their unquestionable greatness. To simplify it for you, if the SPACE JAM aliens came down on earth for Monstars 2.0 then these guys would be it. I will select seven players for the Monstars to give them a full team by recreation league standards :).I am listing them in ALPHABETICAL order and with unique attributes specifically named for them. These attributes define the player and you guys can imagine them as little icons in a circle at the bottom of their feet, in a video game. So lets begin the list.

1) Blake Griffin: 22 years old and plays PF for the Los Angeles Clippers.

I hope Perk doesn't get mad at me.

Blake Griffin is a hybrid of Shawn Kemp and Vince Carter. His creativity while in the air is remarkable especially with the amount of punishment he takes night in and night out. Some of the things he does in the air with the ball should be considered cheating. Blake Griffin has the potential to redefine the PF position for future generations. Also, I find the KIA commercials, where he is in the red tracksuit talking to people absolutely hilarious. He has a great made for tv personality which is going to do wonders for his marketability. His apprenticeship with “Funny or Die” is what makes those KIA commercials so awkward and funny. He is a legitimate superstar in the league and has the ability to go off on any given night. He alone made the Clippers relevant….THE CLIPPERS… ARE….RELEVANT…that is the definition of a VideoGameAthlete. You can’t take your eyes off of him every time he has the ball and/or hovering uncovered around the basket. His VideoGameAthlete attributes: BoomShakalaka, The CheatCode, SeatFiller and FranchiseSavior.

2) Derrick Rose: 23 years old and plays PG in the house that Michael Jordan built.

Derrick Rose

Most Interesting Man in the World

He is arguably the quickest human being to EVER lace up sneakers. He is FLASH on steroids on the court. Wile Cayote can’t catch the Roadrunner but Derrick Rose would have him for dinner. No individual can stay in front of Rose and it takes the constant attention of ALL five players to guard him but even then he dodges them.  Every time I see Derrick Rose, I just see the Dos Equis “Most Interesting Man in the World” commercials. He has the highest paying shoe deal by Adidas in the league and is the Youngest MVP ever. There is just something about him that nobody can put a finger on, that mystery that adds to his greatness. He has single handedly changed the point guard position for future generations. He is THE REASON I can’t put Russell Westbrook on this list. VideoGameAthlete attributes: AnklePowderMaker, The Cyclone, RoadrunnerKiller, Most Interesting Man in the World and the PositionDefyer.

3) Dwyane Wade: 30 years old and plays G for Miami Heat.

Dwayne Wade Batman

Mr. Wyane

He is not “The FLASH” as Shaq so famously dubbed him. He is Bruce “Wyane”, the Dark Knight, the Caped Crusader……….Batman.  He falls down seven and gets up eight and isn’t that what Batman is ALL about. He is considered a superhero but he is merely human. However, his human abilities are right up there with the great superheroes. As Lucius Fox usually says “Mr. Wayne,” I would be disrespecting, if I didn’t say Mr. Wyane from here on out. Mr. Wyane is Mr. COOL. There is no moment TOO big for him and there is nothing that he hasn’t seen. He is a champion and there is no defense for Mr. Wyane’s offense. He can make every play in basketball and even blocks shots like a big man on defense. He is a highlight reel, not just on the court but even when he enters the arena with the way he dresses to impress. His VideoGameAttributes: Batman, Mr. COOL, ControlledChaos and PogoStickBlocks.

4) Kevin Durant: 23 years old and plays SF for Oklahoma City Thunder.

Kevin Durant or Keyser Soze???

He is 6’9 with a wingspan of 7’5. Those snake like arms allow Durant to be the best scorer in the game today. He is very Keyser Soze-ish with his personality as the nerdy guy. Keyser was portrayed as a handicap in the movie and Durant’s lack of strength and a super thin frame were also used as a crutch against him. BUT Durantula took it all-in and is telling a story right now that is Oscar worthy (MVP). If you are not getting this reference than please go watch Usual Suspects, ASAP.  Durant has already established himself as one of the greatest shooters ever. He has the REAL potential to be the ALL-TIME leading scorer in the league when it’s all said and done. He scores at such ease, that it just seems unfair and scary at times. He does everything that Dirk can do but does it better and makes it SOOO much more fun to watch. When Durant shoots and MISSES, I know I can hear a dove cry. He is that pure. His VideoGameAttributes: WET-WET, GUMBY, Paranormal and the Usual Suspect.

5) Kobe Bryant: 33 years old and plays G for Los Angeles Lakers.

Hello...

He is the son that Michael Jordan never had. Has there ever been an exact replica of another human being, without being related? Regardless, Kobe is perfection personified on the basketball court. There are certain athletes that just demand respect and Kobe has been that way since he was a rookie in the league. He has had no problems fighting the lions to earn the right to the kingdom, which is the NBA. A five time NBA champion and perhaps the greatest Laker of All-Time. That is not an easy task for a franchise that has 17 titles. Kobe is the definition of fundamentals but unlike Tim Duncan who looks boring doing it, Kobe makes every spin, juke, pump fake, fade look like little Christmas miracles. Also does anyone else think that Kobe is the black version of Hannibal Lecter with that mask on? He just looks ruthless and scary. There is NOTHING on the court that Mamba can’t do. He really has no weaknesses.  He would be the captain of all the VGA’s right now because everyone else pales in his comparison. His VideoGameAthlete attributes: The CAPTAIN, The Closer, The Assassinator, NetTorcher and the Human PainKILLER.

6) LeBron James: 6’8, 250-270 lbs (depending on whom you ask) SF for Miami Heat.

Otherworldly

Never has there been an athlete in team sports that has been built like LeBron James. He is someone even the Greek Gods would fear. LeBron James was not born on this planet, he was thrown from another galaxy on to ours. Every time, The Chosen One steps on the court you are WOWED by his presence and the sheer impact he has on the game from passing, rebounding and scoring. He also guards ALL five positions throughout the game and there is always that one play he makes that just makes you stumble on your words. The amount of circus that surrounds LeBron James ALL the time is equivalent to a rock band. He is extremely close to being flawless and is definitely the Co-Captain to Kobe Bryant. His VideoGameAthlete attributes: Bamm-Bamm, DimeDropper, BackboardCrusher, It’s a bird…it’s a plane…NO it’s LEBRON JAMES and the Jackson 5.

7) Rajon Rondo: G for Boston Celtics.

Rondoed

He is a legitimate Superstar with the most awkward game ever. He has one of the ugliest jumpers of all time and looks like an Ant from the movie Antz. However, don’t let all of that fool you. Rondo has INCREDIBLE VGA ability. He is ONLY 6’1 and weighs about 185lbs but has incredibly long wingspan at 6’10 and has HUGE hands. Rondo has already been dubbed by Magic Johnson as the best rebounding PG to play the game and Doc Rivers has called him the “smartest PG that he’s ever been around.” Everything that Rondo lacks in a jumper, he makes up for it in every other statistical category with his speed and athleticism. It’s kind of like when a person goes blind but his other senses enhance, that is what we are witnessing with Rondo. Throughout his career, he has continuously put up numbers that are just inconceivable in the regular season and the playoffs. I also want to make the name RONDO a verb because it is just awesome to say, “that the Knicks got Rondoed.”  His VideoGameAthlete attributes: Rondoed, Donde Esta El Rrrrrrrondo, Dhalsim Arms, and The Oracle.

Players such as Russell Westbrook, Dwight Howard and Deron Williams can also be argued for but they are either beat by other players in their position or have not done enough for their respective teams this year. However, I would love to hear arguments for and against any of the players in the Association and the cool icon names that you all can come up with.

Watch me tonight to cover the #VideoGameAthlete duo on the behalf of Xfinity and be entertained by their crazy on the court antics.

mE – Sunny Saini

XfinitySports

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